We'll Help You, Not Really
by Shiguresfunbunny
Summary: What happens when Yuki, Kyo, Shigure, and Haru end up at a sleep over for four teenage girls? Well.. you have a party! And with this perverted writer, and Hatori her slave, you'll have a party in the commentary! So PARTY ON! Tee hee!
1. So Here We Are

**This Is So Totally Twisted...**

**Disclaimer: Alright, you know the deal... Of course I don't own Fruits Basket. That belongs to Natsuki Takaya. But, in my dreams, I own Shigure, Kyo, and Hatsuharu. But (sadly...--), that's only in my deams. sigh**

**Oh! This is also my first fic... so, um, please... don't be _too_ mean. Heh, heh.**

**Me (Ira): Hi!**

**Friends: Hello, everybody!**

**Ira: Guess what! This is my fi-**

**Kukie: Yeah! It's our first fanfiction!**

**Ira: Uh, yeah. It's also abo-**

**Anja: It's also about Fruits Basket!**

**Ira: (sweat drop) Right. Oh! But sadly, we don-**

**Eriza: Sadly, we don't own Fruits Basket...sighs dramatically**

**Ira: (through clenched teeth) Of course... Anyways (brightening up), so, the story is **

**Friends: The story is about us and how we--**

**Ira: (now shouting) WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST LET ME FINISH?**

Friends: ...o-okay. (all gulp loudly)

**Ira: sigh (to readers) Just read. Please. But also be wise to remember...**

**All: Fritos can be hazardous to your health! (I don't like Fritos... so I just put that in there.)**

**Eriza: But... I like Fritos...TT.TT**

**All: (sweat drop)**

**And So Our Story Begins!**

**Ira: Great... we're over here for an outdoor party, and all of a sudden it starts to storm!**

**Eriza: How in the world does this seem sudden to you? We've been telling you that it was gonna storm since _last Tuesday!_ (a/n it is Saturday... 11 days after)**

**Ira: Really?**

**Friends: Duh!**

**Ira: Liars! Oh, wait, now I remember. Sorry!**

**Friends: You idiot!**

**Silence...**

**Anja: I'm so freaking bored!**

**Kukie: Oh, like we aren't, Anja.**

**Ira: Don't we have _something_ to do?**

**Eriza: How the heck should we know? It's your house, stupid!**

**Ira: Is that whywe're sitting in here with barely anything on?**

**Friends: O.o ... Uh, maybe... we haven't really noticed..**

**Anja: Oh, guess what guys! I brought my Fruits Basket books with me!**

**All: Whoo-hoo! Anja, you are so freaking awesome!**

**Kukie: I could just stare and stare for days at Yukie...**

**All: O.O...**

**Kukie: What? Ira-chan, you do it, too!**

**Ira: So! Besides, I don't stare and stare. I stare and stare and stare and stare... (keeps going on until three hours later) ... and stare at Shigure, Kyo, and Hatsuharu, too, not just Yuki. Although I stare at him, too...**

**Anja:... I like Ayame..**

**Eriza: How can you stand him? He was wearing a wedding dress!**

**Anja:... I happen to like cross-dressers!**

**All: ...O.O... WTF?**

**Kukie: Did you just say that?**

**Anja: (shifty eyes) Uh.. say... what?**

**Kukie: Never mind... Could you take out the books now?**

**Anja: Oh, yeah! (rummages through backpack) Here they are!**

**Ira: (snatches book with Shigure on cover) eyes sparkle Mmmmm... so sexy!**

**Friends: What the...?**

**Ira: What's your problem?**

**Silence as all stare at pictures**

**Eriza: You know, it would be so awsome if all these guys were real.**

**Ira: Since when did you become a Furuba fan? I thought you couldn't care less about it, hmm?**

**Eriza: (Holds up a picture of Kyo)**

**All: ...Oh. Never mind.**

**Eriza: Mm-hmm.**

**All of a sudden, the books are covered in a yellowish light. All books are dropped immediately onto the floor. Screams can be heard as all the girls run from the books, hiding behind the couch.**

**Yuki: Oh, great, you stupid cat. Look... do you know where we are?**

**Kyo: Don't call me stu-- what the hell? Where are we!**

**Ayame: I don't know, Kyonikichi. Shigure, my beloved... where did you take us?**

**Shigure: Hmm... actually, Aya... I'm not exactly sure. I think I must have accidentally taken a wrong turn, somewhere...**

**Hatsuharu: Umm, I think we're tresspassing... (looks at the four girls standing stock-still behind the couch)**

**Ira: Ummm. He..llo? I guess?**

**Kukie: Oh my gosh. Where the _heck _did you guys come from?**

**Yuki: Uh, we don't know... exactly..**

**Shigure: Could you help us? We really need to get home... You can come from the couch now. I'll make sure mean old Kyo won't hurt you.**

**Kyo: Why, you--!**

**Hatsuharu looks at the girls and starts to drool after noticing that all four of the girls weren't wearing very much. (a/n this is kinda late at night...11:07P.M. we don't usually wear much to bed. You can't stalk me..)**

**The guys look at Haru, for they have never seen him look like this before.**

**Guys: Uh, Haru? What's your... (look over at girls)**

**Girls: Huh? What? (look down at selves) O.O Auugghhh!**

**Girls crouch back behind the couch while guys are still staring into space, drooling.**

**Eriza: Um...hey. Could you excuse us for a second?**

**Guys snap back to reality, blushing heavily. (well, except Shigure and Ayame...) Nodding, they turn their backs as the girls run out of the den to go to Ira's room to change.**

**Anja: Holy cow! Wait, is this real? It can't be! These are probably some freak weirdos dressed as the Furuba characters.**

**All: ...And your point is..?**

**Anja: My point is...party, anyone?**

**

* * *

**So, how did you like my first chapter? Isn't it wonderful? Oh, and a little warning from all of us... if you don't like perverted stuff, or don't like overly humurous stories...I warn you...Huh? Fine, okay! sigh We warn you (glares at "friends") that you might not want to read further. So, read, review, and sleep. That will be your schedule for life. Well, you can do some stuff in between, but just memorize that part. Until the next chapter you guys! Jaa ne! 


	2. Party On!

Hi! This is now chapter two of the story! (door creaks) Umm, hello?

Hello...

Oh my gosh! It's Hatori! Wait, you're not in my fic... what are you doing here?

I came to kick your stupid butt for not putting me in your story! Why am I not in the story! (cries loudly)

Because I wanted you to be here by me... (stares at Hatori with wild eyes)

I'm not gonna live, am I?

Uh-uh...

Gulp! No, wait! Sto...

Hatori's words are muffled as Ira drags him into room, shutting door firmly.

Now read the story!

* * *

Girls come out of bedroom, smiling at boys. Guys look confused. 

Shigure: Uhhh... is something the matter?

Kukie: No.

Hatsuharu: Do you feel okay?

Eriza: Yup.

Yuki: Um... you don't plan on letting us go home anytime soon, do you?

Anja: Nope.

Kyo: Oh, no.

Ira: Oh, yeah...

Ayame: May I ask a question?

Girls: Sure.

Ayame: Well, since we'renot going home, what are we going to do here?

Girls: We're having a party!

Ira: Yeah! My parents aren't here, but they trust me enough to let me have a sleepover for two weeks. So I can probably have a party, too!

Yuki: A-are you sure?

Eriza: Of course she's sure! So, we've got stuff to eat, movies to watch, places to go, and people to talk to, so...

All: LET'S HAVE A PARTY!

Music is turned up and everyone is having a good time.

Ira: Hey! It stopped raining! Let's go to the pool!

Girls: Yeah! Awesome!

Guys: Ummm...

Anja: Oh, don't worry. You can use her brothers swim trunks.

Hatsuharu: I don't know how to swim. sigh

Ira: Don't worry. I don't either. - But I still love the water!

Friends: Yeah, she's odd like that...

Ira: (glaring) Oh, shut-up!

Kyo and Hatsuharu start staring. Besides Uo, they've never seen a girl like that before.

Kukie: So come on, you guys! Let's go!

Yuki: Uhh, I'm not sure this is a good idea.

Eriza: Why not?

Yuki: Him. (points to Shigure)

Girls: Oh.

Shigure: That's mean, Yuki! TT.TT I wouldn't do anything like that!

Ayame: It's okay, Shigure! I'll always love you!

Shigure: Oh, Ayaa, I--

Kyo: Don't you two even start! Let's just do what they say so we can go home!

Girls: Yay! We'll be right back! (run back to Ira's room)

Ira: Oh! My brother's room is over here, right next to mine. Swim trunks are in the top drawer!

Guys: Heh, heh...o...kay...

Girls: See you in a minute!

* * *

Alright, I know this chapter was kinda short, but it'll be okay, 'cuz I got something special in mind! 

Yes. We do.

Huh? Hatori, I thought you were still in the room back there!

Well, you did say that I was in the commentary, too.

Oh, yeah... Did you happen to see where my friends went?

No,I didn't. When you're tied up in a closet, you don't see much, do you? (glares at Ira)

You...didn't... like... the closet? (tears in eyes)

Uuhhh...

(sniff) Anyways, uh (sniff, sniff) we'll see you next chapter. sob Jaa (sniff) ne...


	3. Cow with Horns

**Chapter 3: Pool Time!**

**Ira: Ha'ri, will you do the disclaimer, please?**

**Kukie: But I wanted to do it!**

**Ira: Where the heck where you guys last chapter?**

**Friends: (all look around nervously) Umm...**

**Hatori: This wouldn't have anything to do with us Sohmas, would it?**

**Eriza: Well, uh... you see...**

**Ira: If you guys even _touched_ Shigure or Hatsuharu, you all are dead.**

**Anja: Well, ...this was a nice visit. Say Hatori, (friends are now backing out of room) weren't you gonna do the disclaimer? Ira could get arrested if you don't.**

**Hatori: (mumbles to self: you act like that would be a problem for me...)**

**Ira: I don't think they heard you, Ha'ri.**

**Hatori: None of those morons own Fruits Basket! Fine, you happy now?**

**Ira: So happy, I'll lock you back in the closet for three hours!**

**Hatori: ... Oh, happy day. ..._Oh, yeah! (_Pretends to struggle while Ira drags him to back room.)**

**Read on!**

* * *

**Ira: So, are you guys ready, yet?**

**Yuki: Yeah.**

**Ayame: Yup!**

**Eriza: How 'bout you, Kyo? **

**Kyo: Whatever.**

**Anja: Umm, Shigure? Where did he go?**

**Shigure: (from behind girls) Right here!**

**Girls: (all scream) What were you doing back there!**

**Shigure: ... sigh. And here I thought I could enjoy myself. sigh. But you all are just like Yuki and Kyo; always expecting something sneaky from me. I guess I'll just go crawl under a rock and watch you from afar... (starts to whimper)**

**Ira: Oh, Shigure, we didn't mean to make you upset!**

**Kukie: Yeah! We weren't thinking you were doing anything bad! (not true, but oh well...)**

**Eriza: We are soo sorry!**

**Anja: Yes, please forgive us! Please?**

**Shigure: Of course.**

**Girls: Yay! Come on, let's go!**

**Kyo: _That lecherous pervert_... (okay, I know lecher and pervert are one in the same thing... sorry...)**

**Yuki: _I can't believe that idiot has such a lack of conscience... (_umm... is that spelled right?)**

**Ira: Uh, Hatsuharu? Are you okay?**

**Haru: (from inside room ) Uh, well... your brother's shorts are a little too tight for me...**

**Girls: What do you mean? Let us see.**

**Haru: I don't know...**

**Kyo: What? Scared of being half naked in front of girls, pansy?**

**Hatsuharu burst through the door, about to strangle Kyo.He is 3.5 millimeters away from Kyo's face...**

**Eriza/ Ira: If you touch him... we'll tear you to shreds.**

**Haru:What if I touch you? All that bare skin.. you might get chilled...**

**Ira: Now that, I don't mind...**

**All guys, including Haru, stare at her in disbelief. **

**Shigure_:And they _**_**thought that I was the perverted one... I like these girls...**_

**Ayame: Umm, are we going to the pool now?**

**Kukie: Oh, yeah! Let's go!**

**Ira: (walking behind Haru) _Mmm... those pants are pretty tight... I know I'm going to have fun tonight!_**

* * *

**By the time they got outside, it was already raining again! **

**Ayame: How awful! **

**Yuki: Oh, well.**

**Ira: I don't feel like changing again...**

**Friends: Me neither...**

**Shigure: Then don't! It's fine with u--(Kyo pounds him on the head)**

**Hatsuharu: Uhh, do you know what time it is?**

**Anja: It is 3:47A.M.**

**Haru: Could we go to sleep now? (yawns)**

**Ira: Well, we don't really have sleeping room for five guys anywhere... I don't know if you'd want to sleep in my brother's room. It smells in there!**

**Kyo: We could sleep in here, the den.**

**Anja: Nah. It gets cold in here.**

**Everyone stood in silence, knowing the only option left...**

**Ira: I might as well go ahead and say it. It's no big deal to me, I'm used to it. When you have three nephews who sleep in your room all the time, and a best friend who you're really close to, sleeping in a room full of strange boys is nothing new. I have a matress under my bed that you can sleep on, so let's go!**

**Yuki: You're kidding me! How can you let Shigure sleep in the same room as four girls?**

**Anja: Oh shut up! We're tired. It's dark, and we'll be under covers so there won't be much to see.**

**Kukie: Yeah, Yuki! (grabs on to Yuki's arm) It's alright! We've got a way to keep the dogs at bay!**

**Shigure: Umm, since you've been reading the books... you know about the curse right?**

**Ayame: Of course they do, Shigure! Which book is out now?Oh, never mind. Let's just go to bed. Although it'll be hard for me to sleep tonight, Shigure...**

**Shigure: I suppose it'll be equally difficult for me, Ayaa...**

**Shigure/Ayame: Yes!**

**R.O.B. (rest of boys): Groan...**

**Everyone gets situated. Goodnights are said, and lights are turned off. While girls are drifting off into sleep, the Sohma boys lie awake, troubled thoughts pouring into their minds. Well, somewhat.**

**Yuki_: If Shigure tries anything dirty, I'm gonna turn his throat inside out and hang him on a flag pole by his tounge. _( that would be awesome! )**

**Hatsuharu: _That one girl is cool... was she staring at my... _**

**Kyo: _I'm gonna kill Shigure. I'm gonna kill Shigure. I'm gonna kill Shigure. (_someone wraps arms around Kyo. Kyo turns around...) _But not before I kill Ayame! _Get offa me, you idiot!**

**Eriza: I'm sorry, Kyo... ( goes back to sleep)**

**Kyo: ...eh? _That girl was dreaming about... me?_**

**Shigure gets up and starts to walk over to the girls. Kyo and Yuki grab his neck and slam him to the ground.**

**Kyo/Yuki: Oh no you don't!**

**Shigure: I was only going to ask where the bathroom was...**

**Ira: Two doors down on the right.**

**Shigure: Oh. Than---! I thought you were asleep!**

**Ira: I am.**

**Kyo: You can't be asleep if you're talking!**

**Ira: Oh yes I can, because I am. Oh, and Kyo, Yuki, let go of Shigure's neck before you snap it in two. And you don't want to do that.**

**Kyo: Why not?**

**Ira: Because I'll snap something of yours in two.**

**Boys are in shock..**

**Yuki: How can you see us?**

**Ira: Special power. Learned about it when I was about three.**

**Silence...**

**Shigure: Do you have any other special powers?**

**Ira: Yes...**

**Haru: ( starting to wake up) _What are they talking about at... what time is it?_**

**Ira: 5:23am, Haru. We are talking about my powers of sleep comprehension and mind reading.**

**Haru: ...You, uh, read minds?**

**Ira: Yes. And for your information, that is what I was staring at.**

**Yuki, Kyo, and Shigure stare at Haru as if to say, "What is she talking about?" **

**Haru: (blushing) ...Oh. _God that's embarrasing._**

**Ira: hee, hee. Oh well, Haru. There's nothing you can really do about it, I was born with a messed up mind. I wouldn't mind obligeing , Shigure. Just say so.**

**Shigure: Uh... heh,heh... I.. _great, now I can't think my thoughts.._**

**Kyo: You twisted little...**

**Ira: Excuse me, Kyo, but were you talking to him or to me?**

**Kyo: I don't even know anymore!**

**Ira: Good morning, everybody! (very cheerful and ditzy tone)**

**Yuki: What!**

**Kukie: Hey! Good morning!**

**Eriza: Anja, get your freezing feet off of my stomach! Oh, good morning, you guys.**

**Anja: Do we have to get up now? Hey, everybody... good morning.**

**Yuki: But--! You were..! I thought--! How'd you--!**

**Ira: Yuki, are you alright? What are you talking about?**

**Yuki: Why'd you say good morning? You were already talking to us. (does that sound okay?)**

**Ira: What? Are you crazy! **

**Kyo: But you... never mind.**

**Ira: (looks at friends, confused) You guys, what are they talking about?**

**Friends: We dunno.**

**Ayame: Ah, good morning my friends! How was your rest?**

**Ira: Fine!**

**Haru: Awful! How can you say it was fine! You said the most embarrasing things last night!**

**Ira: Hmm? You people have weird dreams... Uh, Haru...look down.**

**R.O.G. (rest of girls): OMG! (all except for Ira cover their eyes. Ira laughs.)**

**Haru: What? (looks down) Oh, god.**

* * *

Okay, so how was that? Pretty long, isnt it? Well, remember to review! I'm sorry that Hatori can't be here. He's still in shock. I think he might have to go to the hospital. Maybe it was the 14 painkillers I gave him. I think they were painkillers. I couldn't pronounce the word on the box when I bought them. What was that V-word again? Anyway, I think Hatori really likes that closet... Jaa ne! - Hatori?

Hatori: Closet... we go... now..

Ira: Fine with me!


	4. Pants?

Ira: Hi! Welcome to the next chapter of We'll Help You, Not Really!

Hatori: (panting) ...Hi.

Ira: Hatori, how long were we in there this time?

Hatori: Seventeen hours. (Yes!)

Ira: Really? Is that our highest record?

Hatori: No. Our longest time was four days straight. (That was when I took three whole bottles of twenty pills each. Ahh, bliss! I bet Shigure envys me now!)

Ira: Oh, yeah, I remember! That was wonderful!

Hatori: ( Oh, you can't imagine...) Hmm...

Ira: Where did Kukie and the rest go? sigh Why can't they just wait here like I asked?

Hatori: Maybe they went somewhere like, oh I don't know, HOME!

Ira: Why would they do that?

Hatori: Well, seventeen hours is a pretty long time...

Ira: Oh, yeah. Oh, well. You can do the disclaimer now, Ha'ri.

Hatori: Ira doesn't own Fruits Basket, mmmnbbnlbhhlem... (translation: But she pretty much owns me. I'm not leaving!)

Ira: What, Ha'ri?

Hatori: Nothing. Get dressed.

Ira: Okay! Read and review, you guys!

* * *

Hatsuharu: Goodness, where are they with my pants? 

Kyo: Umm...did you notice that all of us are only in boxers and our pants are missing, too?

Shigure: What?

Yuki: Oh, god.

Ayame: Gracious!

Hatsuharu: Oh, great. They're off with our pants, and nobody knows WHAT they're planning to do with them. sigh why do I feel like we're gonna be stuck here forever.

Yuki: Probably because we will be.

Kyo: Crap! It's all your fa--

Yuki grabs Kyo by the throat and drags him to the kitchen, looking for an onion to stuff into his mouth. Once in the kitchen, he finds himself and Kyo standing before the four girls with their pants in a pile on the floor. Shigure's pants are in the sewing machine, with a little...ummm... alterations.

Yuki: What in the world! What are you doing to our pants?

Anja: (giggling) We're making disco pants for you. (more giggles)

Eriza: (giggling also) Yeah. Do you know why?

Kukie: (giggles) We're having a dance party!

Ira: Yeah, but umm, before that you may wanna put these pants on, Yuki. But seriously, I really like those boxers...

Yuki:(blushing) omg... I- I..

Ira: It's okay Yuki. But the thing I'm really worried about is Kyo. Please let him go so that I can give him his pants.

Kyo: (half passed-out and with a hoarse voice) Th-thank you. cough

Yuki: Whatever. I guess I'm sorry Kyo.

Kyo: It's okay; can you give us our pants now?

Ira: Yeah, and I really like your boxers, too, Kyo. _Wish I could see them more often..._

Anja: (gives pants to Kyo and Yuki) Here, you guys!

Shigure: Yuki, Kyo, where'd you run off...to..!

Shigure sees Kyo and Yuki putting on their pants with pink faces. He smiles pervertedly.

Shigure: Hm...well, well...it seems you young ones have been getting along great!

Kyo: Oh shut up! You sick ba--

Ira: (shoves leek in Kyo's mouth) Hi, Shigure! You come here for your pants?

Shigure: (looks down, for he forgot he didn't have any pants on) Aaauughhh!

Ira: It's okay! We just finished yours!

Shigure: _Finished..? _O...kay... Thanks...I guess.

Anja: Your welcome! (hands pants to a stunned Shigure)

Shigure: WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PANTS!

Ira: Well, we're having a dance party, and you guys needed cooler clothes. So we tweaked them a little bit.

Shigure: They're disco pants!

Kukie: Yeah, you should see our outfits! They are so cool!

Ira: (mumbles angrily) I can't believe I have to wear a skirt...

Eriza: Awww, come on! These skirts aren't girly like the ones Kukie wears. We made you a black one.

Ira: Really?

Kukie: Yeah! Its got your favorite colors on it; purple, that shiny deep blue you like, electric green, and silver.

Ira: Seriously?

Anja: Yeah, and it's got chains on it, and I made you a belt with a metal skull clasp!

Ira: Oh my god!

Eriza: I made you a skull headband and a shirt to match!

Ira: I love you guys! (squeal)

Hatsuharu: (yelling from room) WHERE ARE MY PANTS?

Ira: Oops, I guess we got a little sidetracked there... Kyo, give Haru his pants (hands pants to Kyo)

Kyo: What about Ayame? Wait, did he even wear pants?

Kukie: No, so we had to take his chemise (nightgown thingy) and turn it into disco pants!

Eriza: It was hard work though.

Anja: Yeah. We had to use bits of her brother's pants to give it a little more style.

Kukie: Her brother has a thing for heavy denim. Really heavy denim.

Ira: Yeah...he's a retard.

Kukie: Those pants are sooo heavy!

Eriza: I should say so! If I had all of that denim hanging off of me, I would probably fall and break my leg!

Anja: Ditto! Those things probably was twice as much as your brother himself, Ira-chan!

Yuki: Speaking of your brother himself, where is he?

Ira: He went with my parents. And those pants are not that heavy! (walks over to the pile of pants on the floor and picks up her brother's with one finger) See?

Shigure: Let me try. (tries to hold pants but falls flat on his face) Oomph! Oww! I thought you said these weren't heavy!

Kyo: Oh come on you idiot. Let me see...(Kyo too ends up on the floor) Holy crap!

Ira: Pansies.

Kyo: What?

Haru: MY PANTS, IF YOU DON'T MIND?

Ayame: UMM, MINE TOO!

Ira: Oh! Kyo, hurry up and give them their pants! Tell Ayaa to come down here as soon as he's dressed, 'cause we've barely heard from him, and I thi--

Kyo: Alright already! Jeez...(walks off to room with Yuki and Shigure following)

Kukie: (when boys are out of earshot she whispers) You know, I can't wait until the party starts!

Anja: Me neither! You know, I don't usually wear skirts or like to dance, but I am totally pysched! And I--

Eriza: She's not talking about that you idiot! So, when does plan B start...master?

Ira: Soon, my friends. (Smiles with an evil glint in her eye) Soon.

Anja: Are you talking about the plan we came up with during the pool thingy?

Ira: Yes, you goofpot! (eyes turn dark and cold) And when we're finished, there will be nothing left...

* * *

Ira: Sorry for the long wait you guys! This is such a short chapter too...(sighs)

Hatori: I think its just fine...

Ira: Oh, Hatori! I didn't see you back there... (gasp in surprise as Hatori kisses her neck. Smiles evilly)

Ira: Hatori, are you drunk?

Hatori: No.

Ira: Have you been taking those pills again?

Hatori: Yup. (I don't care anymore. I think those pills mess with your common sense more that your eyesight. Because I can still see, but my mind can only think of two things...)

Ira: Uh, Hatori, are you okay?

Hatori: (snaps back to reality) Oh, yeah... (picks Ira up and carries her to the back room)

Ira: Wait, Hatori! I still have to say goodbye!

Hatori: (before closing door) Ira says 'jaa ne'.

SLAM!


	5. Pervy Party!

**Chapter 5: There's A Plot!**

Okay, I'm really sorry that I haven't updated in a while...At first I was busy, but then I was just being lazy. So there's really no excuse. I really am sorry, honestly! Gomen nasai! But anyways, if you actually think this chapter has a plot, well... never mind... Oh, and if the last chapter didn't make sense to you, I'm really sorry. I wrote the other chapter on paper, and didn't realize that I didn't type it on the computer until too late! So I'm sorry! Please forgive me!

Hatori: (growing impatient) Ira...

Ira: Oh, Hatori! Sorry!

Hatori: Can we please bring this to a close? (so i can bring you to the bed?)

Ira: Okay! I don't own Furuba, but if Ha'ri isn't careful, I may own something of his later...giggles

Hatori: Well, can we get to the back to test that theory, please? Or do I have to drag you?

Ira: How many of those pills did you take this time!

Hatori: (mumbling to self) Err... umm... well, er, you see...

Ira: (estimating) Ohh la la! Let's go!

Hatori: Finally! (off to the room)

* * *

**Anja: (waiting for the boys)Do you really think we should have turned Ayame's dress into pants? **

**Ira: Why not?**

**Anja: It makes them harder to look up!**

**Kukie: Good point...**

**Eriza: We spent way too much time on those pants! We can't undo them now! **

**Ira: Yeah, and besides...if the plan works, he won't have them on for long...**

**Kukie: So what was the next phase again?**

**Eriza: You idiot. We have to get them to dance, and the cameras will catch their pictures!**

**Anja: So then, that's where the blackmail comes in, right?**

**Ira: Exactly.**

**Anja: I never understood why they call it blackmail; I used to imagine that it was pictures of an office Christmas party given to you in a black envelope.**

**Rest of girls: 0.o?**

**Anja: Uh, too many soap operas...**

**Eriza: O..kay...**

**Kukie: Do you watch Guiding Light?**

**Anja: Yeah, remember when Johnathan first slept with Tammy?**

**Kukie: Uh-huh! That was a case of "expect the unexpected"!**

**Anja: I know! But I was so shocked, because I knew it was coming, but I---**

**Ira: (sighs, and slaps both of them upside the head)**

**Kukie/Anja: OW! What was that for?**

**Ira: Sorry, was that unexpected? You should have expected it from me.Now, we need to get our "plan" together...**

* * *

Meanwhile... 

**Ayame: Oh, I just love the way these new pants fit!**

**Yuki: Mine are just right, too...**

**Shigure: That's odd... how could they guess our sizes? I always buy everything a size larger. I am aware that you all do, too.**

**Kyo: Why the hell are we doing this? We can leave! What are we doing here, at a sleepover for teenage girls, having a disco dance party?**

**Ayame: Wow, our situation is better than I thought...**

**Shigure: Hmm... Ayaa, you may be right! What luck!**

**Haru: You guys ought to be arrested...**

**Yuki: If they try anything, that's exactly what'll happen!**

**Shigure: Aww... Yuki, that's not fair! T.T**

**Haru: So, are we gonna go out there and show them the pants or what?**

**Kyo: Heck no! Why have we been submitting to every thing they tell us to do? It's not like we're afraid of them or anything!**

**Shigure: Umm...**

**Haru: You apparently don't speak for everyone...those girls terrify me...**

**Ayame: And anyways, Kyonikichi...**

**Kyo: Stop calling me that!**

**Ayame: This is their house, after all, so we must do their bidding. And perhaps..if that bidding included--**

**Yuki: Shut up! No way!**

**Ayame: Oh dear younger brother, there has been such a gap between us, that I forgot how pure and innocent you are, and the fact that you are still a vir--**

**Yuki: Shut up! You're so annoying! How can you be so shameless? These girls could be virgins too, you know!**

**Haru: I don't know about that Ira girl...she was... umm.. well, never mind...**

**Kyo: Huh?**

**Haru: I said never mind...**

**Kyo: (sigh) I still say that we don't have to stay here.**

**Shigure: Oh, so you know how to get us home, then?**

**Kyo: (sulking) Sigh... fine, let's go...**

* * *

Okay, back to the girls, who have changed into their dance clothes. I will describe what they are wearing.. 

Eriza: violent clashes of lime and electric blue. She has on a very short, leather, lime green mini-skirt. She has on a blue shirt with lime polkadots, and it's butterfly-sleeved. Her hair is crimped, and she has bright orange platform shoes. I guess they make her feel tall...

Anja: Yellow hip huggers, and dark purple, striped platforms. Her two-toned shirt has dark puple at the waist, and above, the bosom is yellow. Her hair is normal, but she has LARGE hoop earrings on, and BRIGHT red lipstick. Wow, apparently even Anja can get into the spirit of flirty-ness. Cool.

Kukie: Hot pink bellbottoms are probably what you see first. With her white spagehetti-strap shirt, you'd think it was Valentine's Day or something! She has 12-inch white heels (ouch!). She has her hair done in a really complicated up-do. Shewearsa black studded belt. Of course, dramatic makeup is put into play... I have no idea how you people do it...

Ira: As described in the previous chapter, she wears a short, black skirt, the pleats hiding flashes of lavender. She has two chains, and from the links, there are blue and jade green metal skulls. She has black, knee-length boots with a silver skull on the front. It matches her belt. Her spagehetti-strap black shirt has a row of silver skulls on it, matching her headband. Lots of mascara! No other makeup.I am gonna get an outfit like that, I swear!

Okay, now the rest of the story!

* * *

**Ira: Whoa...hey, do these pants (giggles)...fit you a little better Hatsuharu?**

**Haru: (Grumbles and blushes) Eh, yeah... I guess...**

**Kukie: (giggles) Well, Ira-chan, I think we got all of their measurements okay...**

**Shigure: I've been meaning to ask about that..uh..**

**Yuki: How did you get our sizes right?**

**Eriza: Er, umm...**

**Anja: Ira, you tell them! It was fun, but, uh, yeah...**

**Ira: Oh you scaredy cats! Anyways, while you guys were kinda ditzy this morning, and I mean ditzy, we kinda took your pants. **

**Yuki: And how, exactly, did you manage to do that?**

**Eriza: We just took them off of you.**

**Ira: We had to crawl on top of you, because you guys wear the most stubborn pants ever! Yuki, yours was the hardest to get off. Kukie had to get Eriza to help her. I guess leather isn't very pliable... no wait, it was Shigure's pants that were hardest to get off. All of us had to get on top of him to pull them off!**

**Shigure: What! I had four teenage girls on top of me and was too unconscious to wake up? No way! **

**Ayame: What about me? I don't wear pants! **

**Ira: Oh yeah. Anja and I sat on top of you and pulled your nightgown over your head. Anja kinda almost got carried away, though, so I had to do it. (glares at Anja)**

**Anja: (shrugs) Hey, Aya, what do you use on your skin? It's really smooth...**

**Ayame: Uh, well, I..**

**Ira: Okay, that's enough. Oh, wait! Uh.. we need to buy a disco ball.**

**Kukie: Oh yeah! I forgot!**

**Eriza: Uh, and you guys kinda need to come with us.**

**Kyo: (who had been quiet the whole time) WHAT! Heck no!**

**Yuki: Why do we need to come with you?**

**Anja: Fine, you can stay here.**

**Ira: Yeah, I guess so. We didn't really have a reason for you to come, just thought it may be fun.**

**Shigure: Well, I don't have a pro--**

**Haru: (covering Shigure's mouth) We'll just stay here, thanks.**

**Eriza: Okay, whatever..**

**Ira: We'll be back later with the disco ball.**

**Ayame: Okay! Goodbye!**

**(door closes)**

* * *

Inside the house...

**Kyo: I can't believe I'm doing this...**

**Yuki: Well, believe it, you stupid cat. **

**Kyo: Grr... I've had it with you! (gets in his fighting stance)**

**Shigure: Kyo, Yuki, this is someone else's house...**

**(a/n...I think I should inform you that, at this point, Ha'ri is probably in the hospital with something like carpal tunnel... although it's not his hand..)**

**Yuki: We know, thanks for pointing out the obvious.**

**Ayame: Oh, come on Yuki, look at the bright side! We are having a dance party with four beautiful girls, who have invited us to stay with them for the time being! **

**Yuki: (mumbling to himself) You're the only one who would consider that the bright side...**

**Ayame: And plus, they made us some pretty cool pants! They feel absolutely wonderful!**

**Haru: Okay, maybe they're pretty and rad tailors, but they are apparently awesome munipulators. If they could pull our pants off without us noticing, think of what else... **

**(a/n don't worry, only I would take advantage of that opportunity..)**

**Yuki: Wait! That girl-Ira- said that we were ditzy... what if we were drugged?**

**Kyo: We all had the drinks that they poured us...**

**Ayame: I didn't! Oh wait, maybe it was the fish. We all had that.**

**Shigure: I didn't have either! It was probably the brownies.**

**Haru: Or they could have laced everything they gave us, since we had different things. But why do that just to take off our pants? They didn't do anything. Except maybe for that Anja girl...**

**Yuki: Yes, that would be pointless...and umm... **

**Shigure: Hmm?**

**Yuki: Well, I kinda...uh... I don't think it'll be so bad, this dance party.**

**Haru: Are you saying that you actually _want_ to dance?**

**Shigure: Well, he has a point. Besides, what are we worried for? What could these girls possibly do?**

**Kyo: I guess... but, do we have to dance?**

**Haru: What's wrong you little baby? Got two left feet?**

**Kyo: You want a peice of me?**

**Haru: Bring it!**

**The two fly at each other. The girls then arrive in the doorway, bags in hand, as Kyo and Haru'sfaces are _mighty _close together. They have their hands wrapped around each other. When Ira raises an eyebrow, the two look at each other and immediately seperate, faces turning a deep red.**

**Ira: O..kay?**

**Kukie: That's a surprise...**

**Eriza: What the heck?**

**Anja: ...That's why they shouldn't have been left alone...**

**Kyo: For goodness sake, it wasn't like that!**

**Haru: What he said... Did you get the disco ball?**

**Anja: Oh, yeah! It's a pretty big one, and when we went into the store, people were looking at us like we were strange.**

**Eriza: Well, if you ever saw anyone dressed like us, walking in looking for a disco ball, you would've choked on your oxygen tank, too!**

**Kukie: Yeah, well, I hope that lady is okay... anyways, Ira, did you get the room set up already?**

**Ira: Yep, now all I have to do is set the disco ball in there, and you all can see!**

**(Ira leaves the room to finish decorating)**

**Anja:(Calling after her)Well, hurry! The suspense is killing me! I wanna see it so bad!**

**Yuki: You mean you all haven't seen it either?**

**Kukie: Yep, Ira-chan is doing this all on her own.**

**Shigure: Wow!**

**Ayame:I can't imagine what it'll look like...**

**(Ira walks into the room, a solemn look on her face)**

**Ira: Umm, guys... I'm afraid that there's a little problem...**

* * *

Whoo hoo! New Chapter complete! Oh, and I'm sorry, but Hatori got hurt, sorta, and had to go to the hospital... I think I broke...uh.. anyways...um... Oh! I'll try to update as soon as I can this time! I promise! ...I feel really lonely now that Hatori isn't here... I guess I'll have to invite Kazuma or Momiji over... Momiji would be more willing... I have candy! I think they're candy... They begin with a C I think... Celcius? No, that wasn't it. Cialmo? Oh well, I'll find out later. It's really powerdery, so I think the "ED" on it stands for extra dry... I heard it advertised on t.v., just like the painkillers that I gave Hatori! Anyways, see you next time! Jaa ne! - 


	6. Apologies and Pathetic Excuses

**Ira: You guys, I am so sorry! Please forgive me! It's not my fault, really!!!! Oh, I guess you should know what I'm talking about, first... My computer broke down a long time ago, and we were too poor to fix it. (Still are) But my pastor gave me the church computer to use at my house, so now I'm back on! Well, we just got the internet last week, and we have dial-up, so it takes a while to upload stuff. On top of that, I've got writer's block; that makes everything worse!!! Well, I promise you, I will try my hardest to upload a new chapter by next week. I've got great ideas, and you shall not go without for long!!! Jaa ne!**

**Ira-chan ..-meow!**


End file.
